06/05/03-KT & Mikey's LA Adventure

Alright boys and girls, I know some of you have been waiting patiently by your computers to get the KT update of the Kt + Michael adventure in L.A. Well, wait no more, because here it is!!!
First off, I just want you guys to try to understand what this meant to Michael and I. We are both pop crazed, entertainment freaks. Obviously, if you are on this list, you know that my knowledge of all things entertainment is a little bit ridiculous and scary. This was like a little kid going to see their favorite sports team for the first time (ya know how boys get all sentimental when they recount the first time they went to Yankees Stadium)...things that I had read about and seen on tv, I was now going to see in person!!!! Yay!!!!!!
Easiest way to do this is to break it down by days:

DAY 1
All hail the makers of Valium!! Kt is incredibly relaxed during 4 hour and 50 min flight to L.A....hardly winces during take off and amazingly Michael escapes the flight without any bruises. YAY! We land around 11:30 a.m. and promptly see our very first palm tree...yay west coast!!!! 5 minutes later we see our first suspected case of SARS..we are not as excited as when we saw the palm tree.....Praise Jesus, all our luggage arrives safely (michael is still twitchy from the lost luggage incident in vegas) and we get our rental car (yeah dodge stratus) Anyhoo--5 minutes into our drive to the hotel, Michael expresses joy that he is not the driver. At this our roles for entirety of our trip are given. Michael=navigator, Kt=pilot. Bring it on L.A!!!!!

A short drive later we are on Santa Monica Blvd and then Ocean Ave. Ohhh lookie all the nice hotels right on Ocean Ave right next to the Pacific Ocean!!! UHHHH....our excitement drops a notch when we see, (packed between 2 huge hotels) the ghetto lodge, oops I mean the travel lodge. Oh lordy. Well, it really wasn't THAT bad. But, i'm old and spoiled by nice hotels, this was very reminscent of one of those motels you stayed in Seaside during prom weekend. Michael goes to check out the bathroom, its a tad bit scary. Hmmm? What is outside behind our hotel? Mike opens the bathroom window and looks down to see a homeless man going through the dumpster!! SWEET VIEW!! We throw our stuff in the ghetto lodge room and decide to start investigating Santa Monica. We run towards the ocean!! Oh Pacific Ocean!! I have heard such wonderful things about you..Pac...Pacific Ocean? Where are you??? All I see is FOG!!!! Undeterred Michael and I head down the Santa Monica Pier. Silence. We are both very quiet, our eyes jumping from all the people in front and around us. Finally, Michael speaks. "Uhm, did we just take a five hour plane ride and end up in Wildwood?"
We decide we are not going to let this disappoint us!! This is CALIFORNIA!!!! This is where everything bright and sunny and fun is!!!! So we head to the 3rd Street Promenade. The best way to explain it is an outside mall...Cin--you would have died--every store you love is right here. Ohhh Michael and I like the 3rd St. Promenade!! There are lots of people to watch!! This street has a crazy mix of people--tourists, gay boys, locals, homeless folk, runaways...all coexisting harmoniously? This is interesting. Michael and I sit down at a little cafe to eat and watch people some more (OUTSIDE DINING COUNT: 1). We are amazed that all these people are milling around together and not trying to beat the crap out of each other!! It must be some crazy West Coast thing!!! Oh, Michael is also quite pleased that if he through a rock 10 feet in any direction, he'd hit a gay boy.

We head back to the ghetto lodge for a nappy-poo and discuss our post-nap plans. Nice relaxing evening, some cocktails, and maybe an appertizer. On our way back to the ghettolodge we are excited that the fog has lifted and we can actually see the Pacific Ocean. Too bad we are not that impressed.

We settle into the ghetto lodge for our nappy poo--it is 4:15 p.m. I open my eyes and check the clock 7:45. Michael is out...Maybe I'll just let him sleep for a little while longer and then we will get up for our cocktails and appetizers. The next time I look at the clock it is 5:25 am...Hmmm I must have dozed off.

Note: As I am writing this, it sounds like it was a negative first day..but it really wasn't...Michael and I were rather amused by the whole day, we had ungodly expectations for L.A., and hello!! It is only a city.

DAY 2
Ok, Day 2!! I'm fired up and ready to go. Michael and I spend the first hour of the morning searching for a pork roll, egg and cheese on a bagel--apparently that is an east coast thing and we have to settle for egg & ham crepes (Outside Dining Count 2). Then we bust over to Barnes & Noble and raid the local travel section. Now we are armed with a guide book!!! Yahooo! Look out celebs!! Here we come!!!

Now we are both very excited, armed with this celebrity guide book, and three maps we are ready to take on L.A. But we decide that Saturday will be our big stalking day. Today, we head on down to Venice Beach. Venice Beach is like 5 min from the ghettolodge. At first, we were again reminded of Seaside or Wildwood, but upon further investigation, we realized that this was so, so much more. Venice Beach could also be called "The Parade of Freaks". As you walk down the boardwalk (which by the way in California is not very board-y...they are more cement walks) there are dozens of artists, freaks, tatoo shops, henna stops, homeless people and wandering hippies. !! AHA!! Now I get it!! That is the difference between the coasts!! On the west coast, all these crazies coexist together!!! It is amazing!! When a homeless person comes up to you in L.A. and asks you for money, they are so polite about it that you genuinely feel bad. And if you have no money to give them, they say, "OK!! Thanks! Have a good day!!" It took about an hour of this happening for it to change me...I found myself..BEING NICE!!!!! I mean, on the east coast, we are so mean. We just walk through the streets not looking at each other, if someone approaches you, you walk on--ignoring them--We are trained to distrust everyone-and everything is so fast paced that you don't have time to be nice...That is the difference.
So yes, we are walking past all the crazies, enjoying ourselves immensely. First we come upon a hippie-type kid who is making roses bouquets out of palm. He was pretty cool, telling us about how he met these girls the night before and they took him home and he crashed at their house....Alrighty....so I give our drifter friend $2 for a palm rose bouquet and Michael gets one for a cigarette. Oh yeah, in L.A. cigarettes are worth more than gold!!!!

So we continue down the path---there is a man with a huge snake draped around his neck!! YIKES!! Then we run into this lilttle couple. He's got a keyboard and is playing songs Wesley Willis style--she's got big sparkley sunglasses on!!! For $1 they sing me a song and let me take their picture!! Then the woman wishes Michael and I a lifetime of happiness!! Poor little woman, she doesn't have her gaydar on!!!

Oh how i love people watching!! And this just keeps getting better and better!! We pass all the meatheads at muscle beach, i scope the basketball courts where part of White Men Can't Jump was filmed--we see a scrawny little man put a frat boy on his shoulders and walk over a path of broken glass!! OUCHIES!!! We actually did run into one bitter homeless man. He was selling poems, poems written by him for a penny. He was a little bitter that noone was interested. Oh wait, i think he was also the same man that told us it was Nazi Germany time...God i love Venice Beach!!! (Outside Dining Count: 3)

Later that evening the rest of our crew arrives...Dave and Renee, Matt, Stan and Andy and Kim and her new man. Its like some crazy Perry reunion. I mean, they are my friends (well if you call a friend someone you see every 15 months), but I haven't hung out with any of these people in like 5 years. I see them every now and again, but wow--I will be spending much of the next 4 days with them!!! This should be interesting!! (Outside Dining Count:4)

DAY 3
Ok so this is our most ambitious day. We are getting up and busting out early so we can hit the NBC and Warner Brothers Studio Tours. Today, Matt, Stan and Andy are also joining us!!!! We get to Warner Brothers, but are forced to take a later tour---then, to delay things, it turns out that Andy is a terrorist. Not really, but the name Andy Green comes up as someone who is banned from Warner Brothers Studio and we have to wait to verify that this is not the same Andy Green. For those of you that know Andy Green, there is a small part of me that is scared that they may be one in the same!! But thankfully, Andy is not a terrorist, and they let him have a ticket, but now we are too late for the NBC Tour. SCREW YOU JAY LENO!!! Anyhoo--now we have about 2 hours until our Warner Brothers tour starts...what to do...what to do??? So Michael busts out our trusty GUIDE TO HOLLYWOOD and we realize the only thing of interest anywhere near Burbank is some celebrity cemetary. Hmmm. This feels like it might be a little wrong, but what the crap, we've got 2 hours to kill...and come on..it will be like a scavenger hunt trying to find the famous graves!!!!

So we pull into this cemetary and let me tell you that the word huge doesn't aptly describe it. I was hoping for a "map to the stars graves" but, alas, we are on our own. To make a long story short (too late), we amused ourselves with a mexican holy ground, a little lizard and we also successfully find 2 celebrity graves. Bette Davis and Liberace. Triumphantly, we head back to Warner Brothers Studio.

Let me tell you, we lucked out. Our tour guide, Dean(?) was the bomb. He knew everything. Had been there for 5 years, was like the king tour guide of Warner Brothers Studio. Throughout the whole tour all I kept thinking (and hell I'll admit it, ASKING) was "Is this where PeeWee rode his bike? Haha it was awesome. So this tour is no joke--it is a 2 hour VIP tour. They let you roam around the WB museum which has props from a whole crapload of movies and most of them are not behind glass. We saw props/wardrobe from The Matrix, Innerspace, Oceans Eleven, and best of all a real oscar!!! Michael and I were like that commercial were the two idiots are drawn to the mountain dew sign and smack their heads on the glass...that was us!!! Hahah...interesting side note (apparently the guy who made the props in Star Wars was responsible for the pirate ship in the end of Goonies. So he wanted to put a little starwars action figure in the ship. So if you follow the mast all the way to the bottom, you can see R2D2....it happens so fast in the movie that you miss it!!)

The upstairs of the museum is dedicated to Harry Potter and the Sorceror's Stone. Wow-ee there is some cool stuff!! Hagrid's costume!! Baby Potter!!! Voldemort's robe!! And best of all...you can get sorted by the REAL SORTING HAT!! I got Hufflepuff (bah!), Michael got Slytherin (hmm, interesting that no one was surprised) and Matt and Stan were Gryffindor!!!
We toured through studio soundstages (we visited Central Perk and the ER set), prop departments and backlots ( the whole time michael and i were salivating) and saw a lot of stuff from Gilmore Girls. I then promptly told our friendly tourguide that we didn't know crap about Gilmore Girls because it was on against buffy and we never watched it. Our guide later confirmed for me that all the rumors of SMG are in fact quite true. Michael and I make a pact to quit jobs and move to L.A. to become WB tour guides. One thing I will say, is that the Warner Brothers tour made a quote I once heard about Hollywood seem very true to me.....Imagine seeing Cinderella, and she's beautiful in her ball gown, and then you get a little closer and you realize she's drunk and is smoking.....

Post tour we stop for nice lunch in Burbank (Outside Dining Count: 5). As we head to L.A. city, we spot the L.A. River. Now I'm excited!! Ohhh that's where Danny Zucko raced Grease Lighting!!! That's where Jack Bauer crashed his SUV!!! Matt also chimes in something about T2.......

Next up Melrose Ave. For those of you that have been to Philly, Melrose is like South St, but like 25 times bigger, crazier and more intimidating. I don't know exactly how a street can be intimidating, but it was. There were just loads of thrift shops, little designer stores, tshirt shops and we found this rad poster shop. Of course I scored some sweet post cards and picked myself up a Portishead sticker and a nifty Nirvana sticker for Jason. Michael was experiencing some kind of traumatic life moment. I mean, everyone is always saying that he and I belong in L.A., but I think that seeing all the WB lots, compiled with the cool shops on Melrose, made Michael's head go wiggy. I thought his head might explode or that he'd run down the street screaming incoherently. I've always known that Michael's days in the land of Mary were numbered. He's too big for that state. And I know that he's always known it too, but at that moment, I think we both KNEW that someday, Michael would be taking a stroll down Melrose and it wouldn't be on a vacation......

So now we pull up to the Kodak Theater (cue dramatic music). I feel like dropping to my knees and pulling a Wayne/Garth "We're not worthy" chant. C'mon!! THIS IS WHERE THE OSCARS ARE HELD!!! This is like the holy grail!!! EEEE! I'm so giddy!! I scope out NIcole Kidman's star--SWEET!!! Right next to the Kodak Theater (cue dramatic music) is the Chinese Theater. This is where lots and lots of Hollywood Premieres are held. I'm so freaking excited!!! Also, milling around in front of the Chinese Theater are all these ghetto-wannabe actors in costumes. It is simultaneously sad and rather amusing. For a $1 I take a picture with ghetto superman and not-quite ghetto storm trooper. Ya know, I just realized something. That is a running theme throughout L.A....sad and rather amusing..somehow they seem to go hand in hand.
I can sense that our group's energy is diminishing. Getting...tired...need replenishment...need...nap....But, during my research, I read that the Kodak Theater has one of the best views of the Hollywood sign. So now Michael and I are on a wild goose chase to find the stupid Hollywood sign. Finally, we see it. It's about the size of the bottom line of an eye exam. But I don't care because I SAW THE HOLLYWOOD SIGN!! YIPPEEEEEE!!!!!!

Ok group!! Time to head back to the ghettolodge!! So we all pile in and get ready for KT's first L.A. freeway adventure!!! (cue dramatic scary music).....Well, it wasn't too exciting. We went about 5 miles and then hit a parking lot. Boooo this sucks. Something I will note about the drivers in L.A. is that they like to cut each other off, but, its not in a mean spirited East Coast kinda way. They just LET each other cut in front. It was really interesting to see. Thank God I picked up on it, because for a hot second I was getting ready to ram people, but then I realized how easy it was for me to get into the other lane, and I was like WHOA!!! They let each other go from lane to lane!!! This is insanity!!!!

The day was finished off with dinner and drinks with the bride and groom...ohhh Nellie and Francine are so happy and cute together!! But I will comment more on that when I talk about the wedding!!

DAY 4
Michael and I had to split up for the first time on our trip. Michael went with the rest of the boys to see The Matrix Reloaded at the Chinese Theater while I met up with Erin, one of my nsync internet friends. Now, of course I've heard all the horror stories of crazed internet friends, and it would suck horribly if I was trapped with a psycho maniac all day. But I felt like everything was going to be cool with Erin. We know each other through a message board, and we have a lot of obsessions in common (Buffy, SPIKE, LOTR,Orlando Bloom, to name just a few)....A lot of times I'll go to post something to find that Erin has already said exactly what I'm about to say...so I figure, what the crap, I'm going to hang out with her!!

Well, let me tell you....it could not have gone any better. It is unreal how well we got along..the girl was quoting movies all day!!! By the end of the night Matt and Michael were calling her my west coast clone. Yay!! So Erin comes to pick me up at the ghettolodge. And we begin our adventure...because you know what to do is...today is the day I've been waiting patiently for since I arrived in L.A....Today is STALKING DAY!!! Yahooooo!!!!!

Our first escapade is into the Hollywood Hills and do a drive by of JC's House!! EEEEEEEE!!!!!! JJJJCCC's HOUSE!!! EEEEEE! Sorry, I still get kinda excited about that. The Hollywood Hills are crazy. When you drive up towards them, it looks bizarre because here is this big mountain and there are all these huge houses popping out of it. I've said it once and I'll say it again. Rich people aren't very smart. Why would you build yourself a beautiful house and stick it into the edge of a big ass hill? I mean, I'd be willing to bet that int the next 5-10 years some of these houses are going to tumble. Plus, the roads going up the hills are crazeeeee. You start off a road and it has a nice little yellow line dividing the lanes...but as you go further up the line disappears and it seems as if there is only room for one car. On top of that, the road is wicked windy and you just keep whipping around corners...its madness i tell you!! If i lived up there I would never ever be able to have even one drink because i would be scared sh*tless to drive home!!! After about 15 min of winding up the hill (and a few near death experiences with oncoming traffic) Erin says..."Here it comes"....Armed with my mom's camera I'm ready to take a quick snap of my future residence. Now let me tell you something about JC's house. There is no big gate, there is no big long driveway...it is right there. I mean, you could practically walk up to the front door. So we are mid-drive by when the garage door opens.

"AAHHHHHHH" "EEEEEEEEEE" This is not good. Erin and I are both screaming as we drive by. But, its not JC...its just his stupid assistant, Carlos. But yeah, I saw his car though!!! Erin praises Jesus that it was not JC, because she feared that she would simultaneoulsy pee herself and crash the car. After a moment, I say that I would take one for the team and suffer some broken bones if it was JC calling 911 for us and then rushing to our aid. And DOH! in all this excitement I didn't even get a good picture of my future house.

So we bust a U turn and head down to Britney's house. We think that ms. spears has recently sold this house (apparently it is just to hard to stay in the house that she shared with timba-timba-timbalake) --but it is the house in Britney's Diary--which, much to my enjoyment Erin likes to quote--she does a funny britney voice). Anyhoo, we pull up to the Spears residence. This is the complete opposite of JC's house. It is huge, its got a gated entrance and a big ass drive way. For a hot second Erin and I consider checking out Brit's mail (her mailbox is within reaching distance) but then we decide that jail terms are only acceptable for members of nsync (and maybe orlando bloom) and that I will not waste bail money on britney. So after I snap my pic, we're off. Hmmm what now? "Well" says Erin, "You wanna do one more drive by of JC's house?" Have I mentioned how much I love this girl? So of course, we head back up the hill to JC's house. This time, with the garage door closed, I get my picture..... YAY!!!

After we finish our stalking, we drive down the Sunset Strip. Now this is what I'm talking about!!! All these places, that I have heard of, or have seen on tv (from Access Hollywood) are right here. Look! There is the Viper Room (I promptly take a moment for River Phoenix--for those of you that don't know, this is where River OD'd..) Mel's Diner!!!! (Where all the drunken celebs go after partying!!) The Whiskey (where Morrison was discovered) Dublin's (That's where Justin had his birthday partee!) The Hustler Store -which i venture into later in the day. All i can say about that place is WHOA!! HOLY PORN!! I mean, there was some cool stuff in there, but there was some hella-scary stuff in there as well. I was gonna get my brother a little porn star action figure, but I figured my mom wouldn't approve so I brought the kid home an ashtray...Also, while Erin is pointing out all the fun of the Sunset Strip, I see my first (and only) celebrity!! Well, if you can call him a celebrity, I would classify him as more of a pseudo-celebrity. Ok remember like a year or 2 ago, that song, Butterfly (come, come my lady your my butterfly, suga, baby) ???? Well, I spotted shifty, the lead singer of crazytown. Here is a little picture of him for you. So yeah, now I'm somewhat satisfied because at least I saw someone "famous". Actually, I'm pretty happy about this after Erin reveals to me that for some reason, the only "famous" people she ever sees are Real Worlders (and a onetime run in with David Spade)

After the Strip, we head over to Beverly Hills. Now, because I am a big dork, everytime i saw the Beverly Hills sign, YOU KNOW THE ONE, THEY SHOWED IT DURING THE OPENING CREDITS...i bust out with "duh duh dunnut duh duh dunnut" and then to my surprise erin chimes in with the "chsshh chsshhh" Heehehhheee....i love my nsync internet friend!!!
Anyhoo--Beverly Hills is NICE. Very Clean, very pretty. I'm surprised though, its not as snooty as I would have thought. There are however, crazy ass cars everywhere. Porshe, ferrari, BMW, Mercedes, Escalades, and then i see a freaking lambourgini!!!!

We walk down Rodeo Drive and all I can think about is Pretty Woman. Michael had this really funny idea. He was gonna go get some gucci store bags and fill them up with his own clothes and then re-enact the big Pretty Woman scene.
"You work on commission right? Big mistake, Big. Huge. I have to go shopping now!!"
After BH, Erin and I head back to the Strip and pick up some lunch at Mel's Diner. Erin must have thought I was crazy because I just kept staring at all the people, every time someone walked by, it was a potential celebrity sighting!!

After lunch we get the ringy-dingy from Michael. He's done with the boys and is ready to come with us! Yahooey!! I've been getting spoiled with all this Michael time!! I missed him!!! Erin and I head out to pick up Mikey. It is pretty entertaining being in the car with Erin. I got the feeling that some of her friends are scared to drive with her, because she kept making comments and apologizing for her speed, or her turning or what have you--for some odd reason I was never scared for my life though ---well, except for the "incident" in BH. Hee Hee (i'll never tell, erin!!!)
So we pick up Mikey and go for some coffee in WEHO. Look I'm sooooo local. WEHO is West Hollywood...it is like the gay mecca of the world. Hmm, is it more of a gay mecca than south beach? I'm not too sure, I'll have to get the official word on that, but I'm going to go out on a limb and say yes, WEHO is the gay mecca of the world.

Here is a big surprise, Michael likes WEHO. We didn't get to explore it too much, but while we sat outside and had coffee (i had a very tasty Vanilla Chiller--Coffee Bean kicks ass!) we saw many a gay boy walking down the street (apparently the "in" thing to do in WEHO is to walk your dog) Mmmmm! There were some tasty looking gay boys!! Seeing hottie looking gay boys is like window shopping on Rodeo Drive, its very pretty, but it'll never be mine so i'll just admire its beauty!!

After we finish drooling in our coffee, we head off to UCLA. Erin went to UCLA and is going to give us a tour. On the way to UCLA, we have to drive through BH. "duh duh dunnut duh duh dunnut" this time Michael joins in as well "chsshh chsshhh"

It is a pretty nice campus that comes complete with a movie theater that has seen many hollywood premieres!!!! After our tour has ended, Erin brings us back to the ghettolodge. But I don't want my new friend to leave!! So after hearing a read-through of Matt's speach (that he will have to give at Nellie's wedding) we kidnap erin and make her come to dinner with us. We have dinner at Chin-Chin's (Outside Dining Count: 6) Chin-Chin's is good for 3 big reasons.
Reason number 1. It is Chinese food, and Lord knows I can't go more than 6 days without a pork dumpling.

Reason number 2. It is on the Strip, so we get to do some fun people watching (If you haven't caught on yet, LA is all about people watching)

Reason 3. Chin-Chin's is at the bottom of JC's street. Granted, the man lives 15 min up the hill, but its nice that every now and again either Erin or I could exclaim, "That's JC's steet!".
Overall dinner was quite good. Except that Matt has some intense taste buds. He claims that not only can he taste the L.A. ass tap water in his ice cubes in his sprite, but that he can also taste it in his broccoli!!! Matt has CRAZY superhuman taste buds!!!!! I always knew he had some superhuman power, i just didn't realize it lay in his taste buds!!!

After dinner we say goodbye to Erin, and I'm a little sad. Today was so much fun!! I didn't even feel like I was on vacation, I felt like I was hanging with my friends, in my town all day. I mean, seriously, the dynamic between me, erin, michael and later matt, was so easy. It was like we had been friends for years. Erin engaged in one of Michael's favorite past times--exchanging of the barbs!!!

Day 5 The Wedding
Ahhh Sunday. Today is the big wedding!! OH! I still need an accessory to go with my dress!! I have a black dress, (and i wasn't planning on wearing black, but i went out of my way to NOT wear black at thatcher and jen's wedding and then everyone else was in black so this time i figured what the crap!!) and Michael and I are on the look out for either a big colorful chunky necklace or a dramatic scarf or something to go along with my dress.

Before our shopping excursion, we head down the 3rd street promenade for some breakfast. Earlier in the week we saw a Greek Cafe that was serving sausage, egg and cheese on a bagel for $2.75. (Outside dining count 7). Nothing better than breakfast and people watching. After our eggies, we begin the search. Thankfully, not long after, Michael finds a dramatic red scarf!!! It is perfect!! Now michael and i are like a little matching couple (he's got a red tie, black pants and vest, and a white vintage coat-courtesy of the HCC Costume Dept). Let's head back to the ghettolodge and get prettied up!!

Now, we (the east coasters) are a little concerned about our fashion. We are all prettied up, in suits and dresses and we are a little fearful that the west coast is gonna be represented in sandals and long floral skirts. But we figure, what the hell, we're going out, we need to represent style!!

Alright, time to head out to the wedding!!! We drive down the PCH (Pacific Coast Highway) and head to Malibu. It is a nice drive, but again, with the rich people not being too bright. There are houses popping out of mountain sides all over the damn place. Awww....Zuma Beach...everyone told me to come visit....but unfortunately the high temp in L.A. has been like 74 so it is not exactly beach weather!!!

Finally, we pull up the Malibu Nature Reserve. Wait!! Who will be the responsible party and drive us home!! I have been the L.A. driver for the entire trip and do not want to be the one driving home after wedding fun!! We make a pact, whoever doesn't fall down the trail after the reception will be our driver. (Now, now, before anyone gets into a tissy about drinking and driving, Renee very graciously offered to be our driver--thanks Renee!!) Now we have to hike up this dirt trail...I'm in a dress for the love of God!!!! We are such a miserable group of human beings that we complain the whole way up the dirt trail....It was rather amusing really. For those of you that know Michael, I'm sure you can see it know. "Oh (dramatic pause) MY (dramatic pause) God (dramatic pause)!!!!! IS NELLIE CRAZY??!!!

Huffing and puffing we get to the top of the hill. We are milling around waiting patiently for the bride and groom. To kill time, we theorize on how the bride will make her entrance. There is a cave across a ravine, we think it would be cool for Francine to pop out of the cave and for Nellie to swing over to her Tarzan style. Whoa. That would be cool.

Uhhh...there is a crazy looking man setting up bowls. Matt informs me that he is a Native American and will be conducting the ceremony. From here on out, we refer to him as the "indian shaman"....The indian Shaman is preparing all sorts of things, constantly on the move and just a little scary. This is too much for us. We are sarcastic, petty east coasters...and the comments coming from us are non-stop. Again, this is not to say that we didn't enjoy ourselves, we did. But we are that group that just continuously makes comments about every single detail.
Finally, Nellie makes his entrance. He is so cute in his little tux!! OH!! Little Dave Bottinelli is all grown up and about to get married!! Then, we see that he is wearing sandals with his tux!!! Giddiness ensues!!! Then, Francine makes her way through the trail. She is beautiful in a simple white gown with elegant floral trim. The trim was blue, and went around her waist and down her back. She was the pefect bride. The ceremony was pretty interesting. I'll just say that the indian shaman kept us entertained.

Now it is time for merriment!!! (Outside Dining Count: 8)
The reception was wonderful. We were on a deck with a view of the ocean. I have to take a moment to comment on Matt's speach. I had heard an practice reading, and knew how nervous he was. But it was wonderful. Nellie made sure the dj played Darth Vader's theme as Matt was called to the mic. Tee Hee Hee. I love my star wars geek friends!! Matt's speech was everything a wedding toast should be. It was sweet and charming and showed how much he loved his friend!!! I have to say, I got a little teary watching matt up there. It was a moment of weakness!! Too much for me to handle!! Matt being all cute, Michael being all nervous for Matt and Nellie being all married!! Its more than a girl can handle. Of course there was also lot of drinking. We did a happy little group shot of tequila....and we were dancing machines!!! Oh Lord, I will never forget Andy, Matt and especially Stan on the dancefloor. Stanimal lives!!!! It was a good, good time.

Day 6 The Final Day (wah!!)
So for our final day, Mikey, Matt and I head out to the Greek Cafe. It is busy there this morning, so we are forced to sit inside!!! Boo!! I'm very very impressed that Michael and I are hangover free!! I thought that tequila shot (combined with many a vodka and cranberry and a glass of wine) would have done me in!! But Halleuahia!! I'm hangover free!! Matt is not so lucky. At Breakfast, Michael and I are a little sad. It took us a day, but then we really got into L.A. and I wish it weren't so far away because it is a place I would like to investigate more. For Michael, it is more...in his words, he "found his people". Michael is so wonderfully over-dramatic!!
After our breakfast we say goodbye to Matt, Stan and Andy. They are headed back to beautiful Newark, NJ. Mikey and I are taking the red eye back, and have about 12 hours to kill. So Michael, Renee and I head out. I try to take them on a tour of the Hollywood Hills, (to JC or Britney's house) but unfortunately the streets get tricky as you get higher up and we were unsuccesful. Boooo I wanted one last chance at a JC sighting. Erin!! My WEST COAST CLONE!! My tour guide!!! Where are you!!!!!!

We do another drive by of the strip, and this time I'm like a pro, pointing out to Renee all the things that Erin showed me earlier. For lunch we decide on a place in WEHO called Tex Marix. Now, when I found out I was going to L.A. I started copying down places where celebs had been spotted. This is a joint that Cameron and Drew frequent, plus, it is choc full of gay boys!!! Lunch is DELIC!! Margaritas=good. (Outside Dining Count: 9)

After lunch we do a drive of Mulholland Dr. One word--SCARY....it is crazy twisty and turny and in some spots there is no guard rail!! HELLO PEOPLE OF LOS ANGELES...WHEN THERE IS A HUGE DROP OFF A CLIFF, THERE REALLY NEEDS TO BE A GUARD RAIL OR SOMETHING TO STOP YOU FROM PLUMMETING TO YOUR DEATH!! The drive is stunning and you can see the whole city from up there.

We decided to stop at a state park and go up to the top of a mountain. Whoa!! The view is sick!!!! Michael is continuing his dramatic outpourings!! "I love it here!!" "If I lived here, I would totally walk this trail all the time!!" " I need to live here" You know I love you Mikey *smooch*
After our "hike" we head back to the ghettolodge where we take dave and renee's room hostage and take a nappie-poo. Then, we take back out trusty dodge stratus and head to LAX. Boo our trip is over!! We must return to our real lives!!
This concludes the KT/Mikey adventure in L.A. ( I don't want to go into the post LA story about KT losing 40 of her favorite cds!!)

So to sum up....this trip was freaking awesome!!! I mean, it was unbelievable to see Venice Beach, the Hills, WEHO, BH, Mulholland Dr., the Strip, JC'S HOUSE....but really, this trip was amazing because of all the people.

Nellie and Francine--Most of you know that I'm pretty cynical when it comes to love, marriage and forever. I'm not that mushy. But nellie and francine, they reminded me why people get married. They are so in love, and so obviously perfect for each other...
It was great to get to spend time with people I haven't hung out with in so long (Kim, Renee and Dave)

I'll never forget the Mexican Sacred Ground, or Andy being a terrorist, or Matt preparing his speach (or the L.A. ass water) or the Stanimal on the dance floor. It was freaking awesome meeting erin in person!! To have that great day together, the drive by, the "incident"...My west coast clone!!!

And Michael, my soul mate!!! You have no idea how much i miss having your sparkling personality with me all the time....It was incredible to get to spend that much time with you!! I love you so much!!!

Ok everyone, that's it!! Thanks for sharing the adventure!!