Emmy's=Dumb

Hey kids! Before I start on my annual “I hate the Emmy’s Rant” I wanted to comment on Justin’s new single “Sexy/Back”. It is a little crazy. First off, the vocals don’t sound anything like the Justin we are used to. He actually has a little JC sound to him. I don’t know how to explain it, kinda how JC sounded so different on “Shake it”. Oohhh and he curses! Lil Juju all grows up! Overall I like it after a few listens, it is pretty different (for Justin) but it definitely has that Timbaland beat that is familiar (kinda like how when the Neptunes were HoT all the songs sounded a little familiar but were different for the actual artist?) Anyhoo, I could definitely see this song being a big dance song at the clubs….I guess we’ll see when I’m out dancing my little heart out in Vegas. By the way, Justin’s new record will drop September 12. And allegedly JC’s first single will drop in August (if you could see me as I’m typing, you’d see that not only am I NOT holding my breath, I’m also rolling my eyes).


Ok everybody, it is time for me to rip apart the jack asses that vote on the emmy’s! It was such a big deal this year, ooohhhh the nomination process is different, new faces will get in, the emmy’s will finally be relevant! What a bunch of donkey dung. Sure I was surprised when I saw this list, I was surprised that for such an amazing year of tv that this list could be so unimpressive! I think there were 3 names that made me happy, the rest of the time my jaw was on the ground. So of course, I’ve listed out the categories and nominees and in a week or two I’ll do Year in Review for the 2005-2006 tv season and talk about the people, shows & storylines that I thought were outstanding.



Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series

Curb Your Enthusiasm
Larry David as Himself

The King Of Queens
Kevin James as Doug Heffernan

Monk
Tony Shalhoub as Adrian Monk

The Office
Steve Carell as Michael Scott

Two And A Half Men
Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper

Three glaring omissions in this category. Where is Jason Bateman of my dearly departed Arrested Development? I know you are all sick, sick, sick of me talking about this show but that just means that you are too thick to get it! (although I still love you)…

No Zach Braff? For the love of God Scrubs was kicking ass this year!! Although truthfully, this would not have stung so much if either Donald Faison (Turk) or John C. McGinley (Dr. Cox) had finally gotten recognized. But we’ll discuss supporting actor later. And finally, Jason Lee. He is the heart & soul of My Name is Earl and he deserved a nomination. I’m hoping for Steve Carell to take this one home. Charlie Sheen? Are we serious? CHARLIE SHEEN!! Ugh!!!

Outstanding Lead Actor In A Drama Series

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Christopher Meloni as Detective Elliot Stabler

Rescue Me
Denis Leary as Tommy Gavin

Six Feet Under
Peter Krause as Nate Fisher

24
Kiefer Sutherland as Jack Bauer

The West Wing
Martin Sheen as President Josiah Bartlet


Yawn. So bored with Martin Sheen. Thank God the frikkin West Wing is over and I’ll never have to worry about the stupid cast getting all these nominations. Bah! Happy moment #1 came when I saw that Denis Leary was nominated for Rescue Me. That’s awesome. Umm, no James Gandolfini? No Hugh Laurie? WTF!! And on a sentimental note, it would have been so lovely if Ephram or Dr. Brown of Everwood were recognized since the CW is stoopid and cancelled the most heartfelt show on tv.


Outstanding Lead Actress In A Comedy Series

The Comeback
Lisa Kudrow as Valerie Cherish

Malcolm In The Middle
Jane Kaczmarek as Lois

The New Adventures Of Old Christine
Julia Louis-Dreyfus as Christine Campbell

Out Of Practice
Stockard Channing as Lydia Barnes

Will & Grace
Debra Messing as Grace


Ok this category is just flippin re-donk-u-lous. I didn’t watch The Comeback so I can’t really comment on that, but this category reminds me of a related issue with the American Voting Process. Enter Dumbass Citizen. I go to my local voting booth on election day. I have no idea about the policies or issues or work of any of these candidates. I go in. Hey! I know that name! And that is the button that I push. God I love democracy. Same exact situation here. No knowledge of any work or merit, they saw a few familiar names and Voila!!!!

In addition, I wasn’t the biggest Desperate Housewives fan this year, but wow, no nominations! Wasn’t 99% of the cast nominated last year? The nomination the show did get this year is laughable! So yeah, I want to say that Marcia Cross (Bree) was absolutely robbed.

Outstanding Lead Actress In A Drama Series

The Closer
Kyra Sedgwick as Deputy Chief Brenda Leigh Johnson

Commander In Chief
Geena Davis as Mackenzie Allen

Law & Order: Special Victims Unit
Mariska Hargitay as Detective Olivia Benson

Six Feet Under
Frances Conroy as Ruth Fisher

The West Wing
Allison Janney as C.J. Cregg

Big surprise here, I have some major issues with this category too. It was Six Feet Under’s last season…Ruth was not the most intriguing character and definitely not the castmember that stood out. I shan’t even mention the last one, can’t BELIEVE she’s still getting nominated, and I have some Geena Davis issues as well. The whole thing is pointless anyway because the two most deserving female actresses are not on this list. Edie Falco won the emmy in the very beginning of the season when Tony was shot. She was amazing and could act circles around these other women—well, I do like Kyra. Also, and I know you’ve been waiting for this, but Kristen Bell (Veronica Mars) makes that show. She is so amazing that you get so completely pulled into that show. She destroyed me during the finale. Wow.

Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series

Arrested Development
Will Arnett as Gob Bluth

Entourage
Jeremy Piven as Ari Gold

Malcolm In The Middle
Bryan Cranston as Hal

Two And A Half Men
Jon Cryer as Alan Harper

Will & Grace
Sean Hayes as Jack

My second happy moment. If I close my eyes, deep inside I know that I will forgive the emmy’s every misstep this year if Will Arnett wins this one. Hello, Gob? One of the best characters on tv…ever….ever….ever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Except for the Piv, the other nominees are soooo over!!!! Oh no! Breakdown moment! Ectasy for Gob! Indignation at the absence of Turk and Dr. Cox! And as I’ve been watching The Office over the summer, that dude that plays Dwight is AWESOmE! “Ryan started the fire!!!” And a moment of silence for Neil Patrick Harris. He also got robbed. How awesome this category could have been. Gob, Ari, Dwight, Dr. Cox, Turk and Barney. Oh lordy, it could have been…wait for it, wait for it….Legendary…..


Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Drama Series

Boston Legal
William Shatner as Denny Crane

Huff
Oliver Platt as Russell Tupper

The Sopranos
Michael Imperioli as Christopher Moltisanti

24
Gregory Itzin as President Charles Logan

The West Wing
Alan Alda as Arnold Vinick

I’m impressed to see President Logan on here. He deserves to win. I love Christafuh, but really, he wasn’t a stand out this season. The rest of the group…ZZZZZZZZZZZ. By the way, I feel this is a good time to point out that Lost was denied this year. Zero nominations, after winning best drama last year! Plus, I think Mr. Ecko should have been nominated.



Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series

Curb Your Enthusiasm
Cheryl Hines as Cheryl David

Desperate Housewives
Alfre Woodard as Betty Applewhite

My Name Is Earl
Jaime Pressly as Joy

Weeds
Elizabeth Perkins as Celia Hodes

Will & Grace
Megan Mullally as Karen

Happy Moment #3. The most deserving woman in this category and a true to surprise to see actually on the list, Jaime Pressly. She is stupendous as Earl’s white trash ex wife. Brillaint! She must win! And really, are we serious that the single nomination that DH got was for Alfre Woodard? Puh-lease.


Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Drama Series

Boston Legal
Candice Bergen as Shirley Schmidt

Grey’s Anatomy
Sandra Oh as Cristina Yang

Grey’s Anatomy
Chandra Wilson as Dr. Bailey

Huff
Blythe Danner as Izzy Huffstodt

24
Jean Smart as First Lady Martha Logan

Jean Smart should win on the merits of her fist 24 scene when she dunked her head into the sink---that was kick ass. And so was the first lady.

Outstanding Comedy Series

Arrested Development • FOX

Curb Your Enthusiasm • HBO

The Office • NBC

Scrubs • NBC

Two And A Half Men • CBS

Ooooh Torn. It would be sweet it AD got the emmy. Oh how I would love to see the whole crew up there. But wowie zowie, Scrubs might actually get some respect if it won. Note: if Two and a Half Men win, I will throw my tv out the window!!!

Umm, entourage? Anyone?



Outstanding Drama Series

Grey’s Anatomy • ABC

House • FOX

The Sopranos • HBO

24 • FOX

The West Wing • NBC

How do you nominate House or The Sopranos and not the leading men that both respective shows lay on? Yeah, not getting that one. 24 was so frikkin kick ass this year, it better win. But I’m going to guess that super trendy Grey’s Anatomy will take it. Can you believe that the show that won last year (Lost) is not even nominated? What the crap is wrong with these people!!

Anyhoo, I’m out. I’ll work on a list of people who deserved recognition and get back to you.